During my successful stint as a loan agent, I had a friend who conveniently defaulted the loan and I ended up selling all that I had to pay it off and still got blacklisted from the bank due this uncalled for turmoil. So, we all have had our fair share of experiences that have taught us not to trust every acquaintance we know because that will probably put us down. But somehow we never learn. And I am sure we will never learn.
Thus, to save yourself from all the emotional turmoil, there are 6 questions you need to ask yourself when a friend lets you down:
Were they really your friend?
A person who is an acquaintance can never be termed as a friend. If someone is good to you, pays for your bills or even accompanies you when you want to go somewhere, cannot be termed as a friend if they are not available when you are in a mess and you need them. You need to, most definitely, make a clear cut distinction between a friend and an acquaintance. For this, you will have to be rational and set standards to do them apart. You also will have to follow these standards very seriously.
Did you tell your friend what you need?
There are some friends who just do not get signals, so if you tell them that you really want to go out and there is no one to accompany you, there are chances that they will never get your hint. Hence, if you feel bad or let down, tell them. Tell them exactly what you wanted. Here either they will tell you that they did not get the clue or they consciously chose not to acknowledge it. That is when you know what to do.
Is it the first time?
This is the most important question before you let them go. Have they let you down before or is it the first time. If it is a cycle then you need not bother about this person and just let them go.
Whether you are being overtly emotional?
Sometimes, we just feel too emotional. Like every minute thing hurts us like they were a sword. You need to ask yourself whether you are being immature. We all have those times and it is okay but that should not affect your friendship.
Are you giving them what you expect?
Friendship is a give and take relation. Only asking for things is just selfish. Once you fell that a friend has let you down, ask whether you are doing enough for them, if not, you know where to bring the change.
Were you making unreasonable expectations?
Sometimes, we expect too much. And these expectations don’t make sense. Ask yourself that and see what your mind says. If you think that they are practical and possible and in spite of that your friend didn’t make the extra effort, you need to stop bothering yourself with people who don’t care.
You always need to remember, that you need to respect yourself enough. Thus, these are a few important questions you need to ask and answer very rationally. These questions will help you ascertain whether you have to hold on to or let go of this friend.