For once, I will begin my piece with a quote by none other than Dr Benjamin Spock –
“The fact is that child rearing is a long, hard job, the rewards are not always immediately obvious, the work is undervalued, and parents are just as human and almost as vulnerable as their children”
Parenting is a hard task. No doubt about it. If you are to take care of the emotional and behavioural well-being of your child, who is a student, it is a task that is to be done extremely carefully. Those who have reared a child into a man may initially raise a point against but a deep thought down their memory lanes will make them agree for sure.
What has parenting has to do with it?
Students are alien beings on the face of this earth and it is not my idea but that of disgruntled parents who have been fed up with their child’s whim. It may sound harsh but I would blame the parents for the perils that they have brought in upon them by their own methods.
A recent study on college students observed that their level of depression and anxiety as well as the ability to cope with difficult situations in day-to-day life showed a downward surge.
I found out that the most common reason for this downward surge may be attributed towards what is described as “helicopter parenting”. This is a situation where the parents are over-protective, control freak and over intrusive. This makes the child devoid of the powers to take responsibility and learning anything to do on his own.
Too much intrusion is bad for students
A study made on the behavioural and emotional psychology of students regarding their ability to cope with day-to-day problems and adapt to workplace situations showed that a certain number of them choosing to quit the job or deserving special favours. Surprisingly, these students divulged that their parents have been controlling their lives and has been over protective.
Should the parents be blamed? Does blaming help? It does not. Parents should be predictive. It is their nature by default. Even, the “helicopter parenting” is a result of intentions that are good. It is a sad thing that it backfires. Most often, these things happen unconsciously rather than done in a conscious mind and the habit grows on.
Be in your child’s shoes
My suggestion to the parents would be to try to be ‘good-enough parents’ rather than being super parents and let the child grow as he or she wishes to. The ‘teenage’ is a difficult time for a child when myths and legends slowly gets the taste of the harsh reality. It takes time for them to connect the two opposite poles. They need time to think, time to discover and time to adjust. Outside pressure and rule books only add to the burden.
I would like to say to the parents that they should try to place themselves in their child’s shoes and try to realize what it would be like to get the extra pressure. After all, the parents must have faced the same situations in their teens and also the same pressure which had been despised by them. This would make the real life scenario a lot easier for everybody.