What to do when things don’t work out


If everything we want in life comes along without much effort, success will not feel as good as it does after a real struggle. There is hardly anyone who could say “well, my life has been a real smooth journey…. everything worked out perfectly.” Rather everything NOT working out properly may make you feel later in life that the failure was necessary as it added to your growth in the later years.

But there is no denying of the fact that it is indeed frustrating when things don’t work out as you have planned. I have always learnt while growing up that in the end everything gives us two choices at least. When things don’t happen as you plan, your choices are- to sit back and droll in the failure or to find ways to come out of it. The later always seems to be attractive.

You are a victim only if you think so

When things fall apart repeatedly the general human instinct is to think, “I am just not lucky” and at that juncture you unconsciously take up the position of a victim.  There may be several reasons why things don’t work out. The reason may be external or it may be you yourself. Addressing it straight on the face helps you view things pragmatically and leaves you with a better understanding about things – an understanding where the head is over the heart.

Get involved with the right company

In these difficult hours, get back to your close ones instead of feeding your ego and staying apart. There is simply nothing that cannot be addressed through conversation with those in front whom you can go unrestricted and bare open your emotions and specially your disappointments. The biggest benefit of this act is that your loved ones may be able to view your situation and assess things which you may be unable to do currently because you are simply upset about your failure.

Combat negative feeling with positive ones

When things don’t go as you have planned, all that clouds your mind are negative feelings – feelings revealing your fallacies and weaknesses, making you angry and sad all the more. There is a personal exercise that I always do, especially when I am failing constantly. Take a random sheet of plain paper and make two columns. On one column, write down your negative feelings and on the other column write down your strengths- all based on self assessment. Even if you have one positive point for yourself, it has the ability to bring back your confidence.

Be hopeful but don’t repeat mistakes

Hope is the only thing that keeps us going, but in the process don’t indulge in doing the same actions and expect a positive result every time. Here self assessment and intelligence should play a bigger role than repeating the same action that is a result of your ego or rigid attitude.

It is very important to get back on track especially after failure and hence personally I believe a break from your mundane routine is the best way out. It relaxes your mind and in the long run provides you the much needed focus to strive back again with a bigger zeal and motivation.