Scars are not always physical; they are also mental and emotional. Physical scars will heal and fade but it is those mental scars that cause the most anguish.

But scars tell a story, your story. Scars make you the person you are. They make you stronger because they teach valuable life lessons. If you take an objective look at your past self and present self, you will see that you are a changed person, and your scars had a role to play in that.

Look forward

What is in the past should remain in the past. Just because you failed once doesn’t mean you will fail again. What is done is done. It is time for you to move on and focus on your future. Your past mistakes should remain where they are, while you take steps forward to create a better life for yourself.

Avoid the trap

It is human nature to replay past events in your head to analyze and reanalyze them to pinpoint the exact moment you made a mistake. But it is a dangerous trap. When you keep dwelling on past events, you lose focus on the future. You start surrounding yourself with negativity, because that is what you are looking for when you replay past mistakes. The past is not going to repeat itself if you work hard to make sure of that.

Take lessons

 Each scar is a lesson that you have learnt. Embrace those lessons and learn from them. Those lessons will help you in not making the same mistakes again. And besides, there is no guarantee you will be making mistakes in the future just because you made some in the past. That is the most important lesson.

Failure is not forever

Failure once does not mean failure again and again. There is absolutely no guarantee in life that a history of pain merits a future of pain. Each incident that causes you pain will not necessarily mean it will repeat itself. As long as you take the lessons from those incidents, and incorporate them into your life, at least the things you can control will be under control. For things and incidents you can’t control that have caused you pain, all you can do is accept them, and move on. Things beyond your control are what they are, there is no influencing them.

Pain is inevitable. It is entirely up to you how you deal with the pain that is dealt to you. Whether it is pain from your mistake or pain from someone else’s mistake. However, having suffered through pain before does not mean your life will be full of suffering. There is always light at the end of the tunnel if you believe in it.

It is entirely up to you to decide whether to draw strength from your past pain and scars, or to let it destroy you. No one can tell you how to deal with pain, and no one can guarantee a pain free future. Only you can make sure your future is not full of pain by drawing strength from past scars.


“Some people take disappointment and let it destroy them. Others take disappointment and let it drive them. And, you get to choose.”

–  Tony Robbins