We’re not defined by our tragedies but by the choices we make in the face of them


All of us go through life with different types of experiences. Some make us happy, some make us sad, some frighten us, some harm us in ways that cannot be reversed. Some change our lives around totally for the worse, they leave scars on our minds which refuse to get erased. It is extremely disturbing and demoralizing to go through such experiences.

These could be the death of loved ones, losing a job, meeting with a terrible accident, being harmed by people, being betrayed by those we trust. These incidents destroy our self-confidence and our faith in people and in ourselves. At times they even take away our motivation to live.

They are not us

These things happen to the best of us. They get us down, true. But they do not define us. They are things that happen to us, they are not us. So don’t get thrown by them. Accept that such things have happened and then pull yourself together and see how to get out of the pit of unhappiness and depression you have fallen into.

If we allow negative incidents and tragedies to control our state of mind, then we lose the battle even before it has begun. That is the mark of a defeatist. Do not allow difficult and unpleasant circumstances to take over your life. Face them, fight them and then defeat them.

Fight and conquer

If you fight and conquer your fears, your grief, your anger, your hurt, you grow stronger. Your ability to deal with negative things goes up, you can fight a little bit better each time life throws you a bender. These events define specific moments in your life, that is fine. But do not let them define you, the person. Seek to be defined by your strengths and your capabilities and by how you handle life’s tragedies.

Life is not always fair. It throws misfortune at you, off and on. It is how you deal with these incidents, how you react to them, what learning you extract from them, what steps you take to get out of the morass of misery and anguish that is a reflection of the kind of person you really are.

Survive the tragedies

You have to survive the tragedies and grow by overcoming the negative impact they have on you. It is not easy, it takes time and you stumble while walking on the path to recovery. But don’t give up. It is how you face up to your challenges that defines who you are and indicates what you are capable of.

Look ahead, not behind. The tragedies that happened did so in the past – leave the past behind you. Don’t carry them into your life in the present. Learn from what has happened and the next time there is a tragedy in your life, you will know how to cope, what reserves of strength to draw upon and how to conquer your sadness and hurt and unhappiness. Accept the challenges life throws at you and throw them right back so that you emerge victorious.